OGA to Purchase, Monetize Battle for Wesnoth
We here at OGA are pleased to announce that, in response to incredible user demand, we will be purchasing the rights to the popular FOSS (Free and Open Source Software) game Battle for Wesnoth in order to address the frequent user complaint that Wesnoth is insufficiently monetized.
Users are already very excited about this development.
"When I play a game," said user ceninan, "I want to be bombarded by as many microtransaction offers as possible. Wesnoth has been very poor in this regard. I mean, what is this? Tthe latest development version comes with sixteen campaigns right out of the box. Sixteen. There should be one campaign, maximum, and the rest should be available for EU4.99 as 0-day DLC."
"Seriously," agreed Flare developer Clint Bellanger, "and what's with Wesnoth being moddable? If I want to change how a unit looks, all I need to do is open up an image editor and change it myself. Trivial cosmetic modifications like that should cost me at least $0.99 each! Since I monetized Flare three months ago, my users have never been happier."
"I never cared much about DLC myself," said user Ablu. "What I care about is that I have to pay sixty dollars up front for a game that I can't possibly return for a refund if it doesn't work. I mean, I downloaded Wesnoth the other day for free, and started one of the single-player campaigns. Also, when my internet connection dropped out for a few minutes, I was appalled to discover that Wesnoth continued to work perfectly. What Battle for Wesnoth really needs is nasty always-online DRM in a transparent attempt to kill the used games market."
"The thing that bothers me the most," added user MrBeast, "is that I could look at the Wesnoth source code if I wanted to, and that other people are probably looking at it right now. One thing I absolutely don't want is the peace of mind that nothing is running in the background collecting my personal data to be sold to advertising companies and government agencies. And I certainly don't want to be able to make my own modifications to the code."
When contacted for comment about the planned acquisition, a representative from the Battle for Wesnoth team said, "Wait, what? This is the first we've heard about this. Can OGA even do that? You're not going to quote me on this, right?"
Happy April Fools' Day, everyone!
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Comments
If someone wants to pay 0.99 for DLC pants for Flare, I'd make that happen.
I'm highly disappointed this post isn't behind a paywall. And comments are free? Clearly no business sense...
WTFFFFFF!!!!
haha, you fooled me!
Hehehe, the link to this page kept popping up in the wesnoth IRC channel all afternoon. :p
for a second I was seriously like "what? who wants to be bombarded with microtransactions?" lol
OH YOU!
usualmente no estoy preparado para un april fools' :p